Monday, January 28, 2008

Just say....okay!

Kathy shares her experience of being the clay and being the potter from our spiritual direction mini-retreat. My responses of resistance were similar. "Being pulled and stretched hurts!" Others in our group felt comforted by being held in the potter's hands-- sharing images of safety, hiddenness, and warmth. The potter's perspective was more fun for me. Holding the formless clay, changing its shape, pushing here, expanding there, I noticed a feeling of excitement and anticipation of what was to be. I felt the effort involved in a not-so-instant process. But my mind's eye kept the abstract piece of crazy beauty before me as I worked.

my journey mapOur director, Debbie, began with the thought: "Bidden or not bidden Christ is present." Throughout the exercises we were encouraged to see God's fingerprints and his moving. In mapping my life's journey, I was reminded of all the geographical and emotional places, the milestones, the people, the adventures, and the detours. This was the most significant piece of the morning for me. "I speak life over you," I felt God say. In the midst of the times where I felt lost and in the places of nothingness, I could reflect back to see that life came out of them. Part of my simple prayer from this experience:
In the places I've been lost,
you found me.
In the places I'm still lost...
find me, O God.

We've heard of programs and initiatives using the slogan "Just Say No." As this clay (me!) is being transformed, I want a new slogan. I think it has to be "just say okay." If our journey is not to get somewhere, but to become, I want to focus a little more on the becoming. That helps me to say "okay" to the potter...and even "okay" to the sometimes difficult and unpleasant parts of the process. The cool thing is that maybe I will be more present to the joyful life-filled moments and more readily say "okay" to them, too.


Blogger the refuge said...

i, too, want to be a person that says "okay"...."okay, i'll go." "okay, let's try" "okay, i will risk." "okay, i'll stop." "okay, i'll trust you as best i can in the moment. "okay....."
great morning. good for my soul. thanks for opening your house to us, kathy escobar

5:27 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

kathy, you're welcome. I love to host anytime, just don't love the pre-hosting clean-up! yes, to me the "okay" is more than "okay, i'll try to put up with this process," but it's the okay to risking, to stepping out, and being open to possibilities as well. "okay" will change meaning and context all the time, huh? i agree with you it's about trusting God, and i think it's about trusting ourselves some, too.

10:37 AM  

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