Monday, June 20, 2005

What Up?

Torchwood was started as a group blog for a women's leadership team. This post is by Susan:

These days, the cool kids say, "What up." Not with a question mark. Not even expecting an answer.

I still ask "What's up?", but now I mean something completely different than when I was a (very) cool kid. I want to know, literally, what's up there! (Note the imperative.) What's up in the clouds, waiting to move forward into view?

Until recently, I always knew what was up in my clouds - ahead in the proverbial time line. I would just move right from one dot to another. Get the goal and move onto the next notch. Easy.

But what the ... ? Someone just stole my shades, and with the glare I can't see ... ah ... anything! Dula f'masli (that's quasi-phonetic Russian for "nothing with butter!") I don't like it.

I am sitting here, drumming my fingers, waiting to "get" my marching orders, but all I am getting is "the drift".

I know what you're thinking: "Get off your [katooey] and quit [complaining], you sorry [gal]!" (You know, it's so hard to be cool and keep a Disney mouth these days.)

But you don't know me. I'm a "take charge" girl (who speaks just a bit too parenthetically) and there's the rub. I suddenly don't get to know what I'm taking charge of until it drops out of the clouds right smack into my lap. And then I have to wing it, and of course that's fertile ground for "not doing my very best". Which I'm not.

I guess I asked for it. I said a little prayer to learn a little humility to manage my not-so-little opinion of myself and as you can expect, God is faithful. He said, "

1. Word.
2. I hold all the cards.
3. You look to Me.
4. I let you in on the game, but we use My time line.
5. You improvise.
6. You'll be fine (eventually).
7. I'm here."


Just let me get out of my own way.


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